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20 Funny Quotes from Literature

May 8, 2016 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Quote Topics 

Funny Quotes from Literature

“To win back my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn’t do—except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community.” ~ A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde

“I always say beauty is only sin deep.” ~ Reginald by Saki

It is the necessary nature of a political party in this country to avoid, as long as it can be avoided, the consideration of any question which involves a great change. ~ Phineas Redux by Anthony Trollope

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. ~ Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime by Oscar Wilde

“Prophecy is like a half-trained mule,” he complained to Jorah Mormont. “It looks as though it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the head.” ~ A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin

You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return. ~ Reginald by Saki

Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs are. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

Discovering that priests were infinitely more attentive when she was in process of losing or regaining faith in Mother Church, she maintained an enchantingly wavering attitude. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

“This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.” ~ The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.” ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde

In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

“I discovered early that crying makes my nose red, and the knowledge has helped me through several painful episodes.” ~ The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

In all the thousands of times I have asked other people for advice, I never yet got the advice I wanted. ~ Armadale by Wilkie Collins

A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~ Strictly Business by O. Henry

Mrs. Bittacy rustled ominously, holding her peace meanwhile. She feared long words she did not understand. Beelzebub lay hid among too many syllables. ~ The Man Whom the Trees Loved by Algernon Blackwood

“Unbidden guests
Are often welcomest when they are gone.”
 ~ Henry VI, Part One by William Shakespeare

The bishop did not whistle: we believe that they lose the power of doing so on being consecrated. ~ The Warden by Anthony Trollope

What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible. ~ Dolly Dialogues by Anthony Hope

See More Funny Quotes from Literature

New Quotes – Bronte, Herbert and More

May 3, 2016 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Everything Else 

Quotes from LiteratureNew quotes were added to the site today.  As per usual, all of the quotes list an author and a source. We’re proud that this quotation collection is curated by people and NOT by a computer program.

Here are some quotes from the new additions:

Men must want to do things of their own innermost drives. People, not commercial organizations or chains of command, are what make great civilizations work. Every civilization depends upon the quality of the individuals it produces. If you over-organize humans, over-legalize them, suppress their urge to greatness — they cannot work and their civilization collapses. ~ Children of Dune by Frank Herbert

“A sermon is not to tell you what you are, but what you ought to be, and a novel should tell you not what you are to get, but what you’d like to get.” ~ The Small House at Allington by Anthony Trollope

“Must we be strangers, you and I, because there was a time in which we were almost more than friends?” ~ Phineas Finn by Anthony Trollope

Your man with a thin skin, a vehement ambition, a scrupulous conscience, and a sanguine desire for rapid improvement, is never a happy, and seldom a fortunate politician. ~ The Prime Minister by Anthony Trollope

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth. ~ The Young Duke by Benjamin Disraeli

“God did not give me my life to throw away.” ~ Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

The wild rains of the day are abated; the great single cloud disparts and rolls away from heaven, not passing and leaving a sea all sapphire, but tossed buoyant before a continued, long-sounding, high-rushing moonlight tempest. The moon reigns glorious, glad of the gale, as glad as if she gave herself to his fierce caress with love. ~ Shirley by Charlotte Bronte

We should acknowledge God merciful, but not always for us comprehensible. ~ Villette by Charlotte Bronte

“Your father, Jo. He never loses patience, never doubts or complains, but always hopes, and works and waits so cheerfully that one is ashamed to do otherwise before him.” ~ Little Women by Louisa May Alcott



 

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