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20 Funny Quotes from Literature

May 8, 2016 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Quote Topics 

Funny Quotes from Literature

“To win back my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn’t do—except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community.” ~ A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde

“I always say beauty is only sin deep.” ~ Reginald by Saki

It is the necessary nature of a political party in this country to avoid, as long as it can be avoided, the consideration of any question which involves a great change. ~ Phineas Redux by Anthony Trollope

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. ~ Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime by Oscar Wilde

“Prophecy is like a half-trained mule,” he complained to Jorah Mormont. “It looks as though it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the head.” ~ A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin

You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return. ~ Reginald by Saki

Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs are. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

Discovering that priests were infinitely more attentive when she was in process of losing or regaining faith in Mother Church, she maintained an enchantingly wavering attitude. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

“This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.” ~ The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.” ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde

In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

“I discovered early that crying makes my nose red, and the knowledge has helped me through several painful episodes.” ~ The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

In all the thousands of times I have asked other people for advice, I never yet got the advice I wanted. ~ Armadale by Wilkie Collins

A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~ Strictly Business by O. Henry

Mrs. Bittacy rustled ominously, holding her peace meanwhile. She feared long words she did not understand. Beelzebub lay hid among too many syllables. ~ The Man Whom the Trees Loved by Algernon Blackwood

“Unbidden guests
Are often welcomest when they are gone.”
 ~ Henry VI, Part One by William Shakespeare

The bishop did not whistle: we believe that they lose the power of doing so on being consecrated. ~ The Warden by Anthony Trollope

What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible. ~ Dolly Dialogues by Anthony Hope

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5 Quotes from Literature About Misery

September 21, 2015 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Everything Else 

misery quotesIt’s not fun to think about, but misery is part of the human condition.

Ah, happiness courts the light, so we deem the world is gay; but misery hides aloof, so we deem that misery there is none. ~ Bartleby, the Scrivener by Herman Melville

The agony of my feelings allowed me no respite; no incident occurred from which my rage and misery could not extract its food. ~ Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Passion takes no count of time; peril marks no hours or minutes; wrong makes its own calendar; and misery has solar systems peculiar to itself. ~ The True Story of Guenever by Elizabeth Stuart Phelps

Yes, I was a fool, but I was in love, and though I was suffering the greatest misery I had ever known I would not have had it otherwise for all the riches of Barsoom. Such is love, and such are lovers wherever love is known. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

There are a set of religious, or rather moral writers, who teach that virtue is the certain road to happiness, and vice to misery, in this world. A very wholesome and comfortable doctrine, and to which we have but one objection, namely, that it is not true. ~ Tom Jones by Henry Fielding

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Five quotes about the Law and Lawyers from Literature

July 25, 2014 by · Leave a Comment
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Quotes about the law and lawyers

It’s surprising how many quotes about the legal system end up in literature.

“Nothing is so unproductive as the law. It is expensive whether you win or lose.” ~ The Money Master by Gilbert Parker

In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

But the Law is still, in certain inevitable cases, the pre-engaged servant of the long purse. ~ The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

For, according to our old saying, the three learned professions live by roguery on the three parts of a man. The doctor mauls our bodies; the parson starves our souls, but the lawyer must be the adroitest knave, for he has to ensnare our minds. ~ Lorna Doone by R. D. Blackmore

You can hire logic, in the shape of a lawyer, to prove anything that you want to prove. ~ The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

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