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20 Funny Quotes from Literature

May 8, 2016 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Quote Topics 

Funny Quotes from Literature

“To win back my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn’t do—except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community.” ~ A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde

“I always say beauty is only sin deep.” ~ Reginald by Saki

It is the necessary nature of a political party in this country to avoid, as long as it can be avoided, the consideration of any question which involves a great change. ~ Phineas Redux by Anthony Trollope

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. ~ Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime by Oscar Wilde

“Prophecy is like a half-trained mule,” he complained to Jorah Mormont. “It looks as though it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the head.” ~ A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin

You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return. ~ Reginald by Saki

Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs are. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

Discovering that priests were infinitely more attentive when she was in process of losing or regaining faith in Mother Church, she maintained an enchantingly wavering attitude. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

“This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.” ~ The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.” ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde

In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

“I discovered early that crying makes my nose red, and the knowledge has helped me through several painful episodes.” ~ The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

In all the thousands of times I have asked other people for advice, I never yet got the advice I wanted. ~ Armadale by Wilkie Collins

A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~ Strictly Business by O. Henry

Mrs. Bittacy rustled ominously, holding her peace meanwhile. She feared long words she did not understand. Beelzebub lay hid among too many syllables. ~ The Man Whom the Trees Loved by Algernon Blackwood

“Unbidden guests
Are often welcomest when they are gone.”
 ~ Henry VI, Part One by William Shakespeare

The bishop did not whistle: we believe that they lose the power of doing so on being consecrated. ~ The Warden by Anthony Trollope

What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible. ~ Dolly Dialogues by Anthony Hope

See More Funny Quotes from Literature

10 Funny Quotes from Literature

November 16, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Charles Dickens, Everything Else 

LitQuotesClassic literature can be inspirational.  It can be poetic.  It can be educational.  Classic literature can also be really funny!  Check out these ten funny quotes from literature:

1 – “How dreadful!” cried Lord Henry. “I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.” ~  The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

2 – “If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you’d form some idea of what unrequited affection is.”  ~  Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens

3 – Indeed, he would sometimes remark, when a man fell into his anecdotage, it was a sign for him to retire from the world. ~  Lothair by Benjamin Disraeli

4 – You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind-legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. ~  Zuleika Dobson by Sir Max Beerbohm

5 – The bishop did not whistle: we believe that they lose the power of doing so on being consecrated. ~  The Warden by Anthony Trollope

6 – A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~  Strictly Business by O. Henry

7  – From politics, it was an easy step to silence. ~  Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

8 – Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. ~  The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

9 – It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. ~  Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

10 – I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again. ~  This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

If you enjoyed these quotes check out our humorous quotes page or our random funny quote feature.






 

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