Funny Quotes

"Musical people are so absurdly unreasonable. They always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be absolutely deaf." ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde "Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement." ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde "Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike." ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde "Philanthropy seems to me to have become simply the refuge of people who wish to annoy their fellow-creatures." ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde "One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything." ~ A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde And whenever he spoke (which he did almost always), he took care to produce the very finest and longest words of which the vocabulary gave him the use, rightly judging that it was as cheap to employ a handsome, large, and sonorous epithet, as to use a little stingy one. ~ Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray The fortunate man is he who, born poor, or nobody, works gradually up to wealth and consideration, and, having got them, dies before he finds they were not worth so much trouble. ~ Christie Johnstone by Charles Reade Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible. ~ Dolly Dialogues by Anthony Hope "I discovered early that crying makes my nose red, and the knowledge has helped me through several painful episodes." ~ The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton "Kissing don't last: cookery do!" ~ The Ordeal of Richard Feverel by George Meredith