Funny Quotes

A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~ Strictly Business by O. Henry "Puns are the smallpox of the language." ~ The Adventures of Harry Richmond by George Meredith " . . . the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril." ~ The Merry Wives of Windsor by William Shakespeare She would have despised the modern idea of women being equal to men. Equal, indeed! she knew they were superior. ~ Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell Mrs. Varden was a lady of what is commonly called an uncertain temper--a phrase which being interpreted signifies a temper tolerably certain to make everybody more or less uncomfortable. ~ Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens The man who now confronted Gashford, was a squat, thickset personage, with a low, retreating forehead, a coarse shock head of hair, and eyes so small and near together, that his broken nose alone seemed to prevent their meeting and fusing into one of the usual size. ~ Barnaby Rudge by Charles Dickens Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them. ~ Our Derby Sweepstakes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle You may set it down as a truth which admits of few exceptions, that those who ask your OPINION really want your PRAISE, and will be contented with nothing less. ~ The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. I try his head occasionally as housewives try eggs,-- give it an intellectual shake and hold it up to the light, so to speak, to see if it has life in it, actual or potential, or only contains lifeless albumen. ~ The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. "Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground-floor." ~ The Poet at the Breakfast Table by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.