Humorous Quotes

"Philanthropy seems to me to have become simply the refuge of people who wish to annoy their fellow-creatures." ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde "One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything." ~ A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde And whenever he spoke (which he did almost always), he took care to produce the very finest and longest words of which the vocabulary gave him the use, rightly judging that it was as cheap to employ a handsome, large, and sonorous epithet, as to use a little stingy one. ~ Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray The fortunate man is he who, born poor, or nobody, works gradually up to wealth and consideration, and, having got them, dies before he finds they were not worth so much trouble. ~ Christie Johnstone by Charles Reade Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible. ~ Dolly Dialogues by Anthony Hope "I discovered early that crying makes my nose red, and the knowledge has helped me through several painful episodes." ~ The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton "Kissing don't last: cookery do!" ~ The Ordeal of Richard Feverel by George Meredith A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~ Strictly Business by O. Henry "Puns are the smallpox of the language." ~ The Adventures of Harry Richmond by George Meredith " . . . the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril." ~ The Merry Wives of Windsor by William Shakespeare