Humorous Quotes

"I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety." ~ The Adventure of the Empty House by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Of all the great battles in which I had the honour of drawing my sword for the Emperor and for France there was not one which was lost. At Waterloo, although, in a sense, I was present, I was unable to fight, and the enemy was victorious. It is not for me to say that there is a connection between these two things. You know me too well, my friends, to imagine that I would make such a claim. But it gives matter for thought, and some have drawn flattering conclusions from it. ~ The Adventures of Gerard by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!" ~ The Land of Mist by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go she went. ~ Reginald by Saki "The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened. It's only the middle-aged who are really conscious of their limitations--that is why one should be so patient with them." ~ Reginald by Saki When a man with the constitution of Montague Dartie has exercised self control for months from religious motives, and remains unrewarded, he does not curse God and die, he curses God and lives, to the distress of his family. ~ The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy He woke at half-past two, an hour which long experience had taught him brings panic intensity to all awkward thoughts. Experience had also taught him that a further waking at the proper hour of eight showed the folly of such panic. ~ The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy I know that journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones Dead" to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive. ~ The Wisdom of Father Brown by G. K. Chesterton "Remuneration! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings." ~ Love's Labour's Lost by William Shakespeare "He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument." ~ Love's Labour's Lost by William Shakespeare