LitQuotes.

LitQuotes Blog

Join Us Pinterest Facebook Twitter

20 Funny Quotes from Literature

May 8, 2016 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Quote Topics 

Funny Quotes from Literature

“To win back my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn’t do—except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community.” ~ A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde

“I always say beauty is only sin deep.” ~ Reginald by Saki

It is the necessary nature of a political party in this country to avoid, as long as it can be avoided, the consideration of any question which involves a great change. ~ Phineas Redux by Anthony Trollope

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. ~ Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime by Oscar Wilde

“Prophecy is like a half-trained mule,” he complained to Jorah Mormont. “It looks as though it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the head.” ~ A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin

You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return. ~ Reginald by Saki

Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs are. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

Discovering that priests were infinitely more attentive when she was in process of losing or regaining faith in Mother Church, she maintained an enchantingly wavering attitude. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

“This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.” ~ The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.” ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde

In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers. ~ A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

“I discovered early that crying makes my nose red, and the knowledge has helped me through several painful episodes.” ~ The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

In all the thousands of times I have asked other people for advice, I never yet got the advice I wanted. ~ Armadale by Wilkie Collins

A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience. ~ Strictly Business by O. Henry

Mrs. Bittacy rustled ominously, holding her peace meanwhile. She feared long words she did not understand. Beelzebub lay hid among too many syllables. ~ The Man Whom the Trees Loved by Algernon Blackwood

“Unbidden guests
Are often welcomest when they are gone.”
 ~ Henry VI, Part One by William Shakespeare

The bishop did not whistle: we believe that they lose the power of doing so on being consecrated. ~ The Warden by Anthony Trollope

What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again. ~ This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible. ~ Dolly Dialogues by Anthony Hope

See More Funny Quotes from Literature

Happy New Year’s Eve – More Quotes Added

December 31, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Site News 

LitQuotesHappy New Year’s Eve!  I just wanted to let you know that I’ve added a few more quotes to the site.  Here are my favorites.

There’s small choice in rotten apples. ~   The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare

Continual complexity makes it impossible for any of us to know anything outside our own personal field-I can’t follow the work of the man sitting at the next desk over from me. Too much knowledge has piled up in each field. And there’s too many fields.” ~  The Variable Man by Philip K. Dick

It makes your sin no worse, as I conceive, to do it a la mode and stylishly. ~  The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope

 

Other LitQuotes Features

  • Random Quote – Shakespeare?  Dickens?  Austen?  What quote will you get?
  • Random Love Quote – It’s all about love on the random love quote page.
  • Random Funny Quote –  Need a laugh?  Check out the random funny quote.
  • Random Spooky Quote – You’ll get the shivers! View a random spooky quote from our large collection of scary quotes.






 

LitQuotes