Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes from Literature

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Breakfast Quote by Oscar Wilde
An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.” ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde

Cultivate Happiness?
cultivate happiness quote

No mockery in this world ever sounds to me so hollow as that of being told to cultivate happiness. What does such advice mean? Happiness is not a potato.

When Angry Quote Photo
Mark Twain Quotes

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. ~ The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

293 Funny Quotes from Literature

QuoteAuthor Source
"To win back my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn't do—except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community." Oscar Wilde A Woman of No Importance
When one wants to be natural, of necessity one becomes the reverse of natural. Anthony Trollope Phineas Redux
A bull in a china shop is not a useful animal, nor is he ornamental, but there can be no doubt of his energy. Anthony Trollope Phineas Redux
It is the necessary nature of a political party in this country to avoid, as long as it can be avoided, the consideration of any question which involves a great change. Anthony Trollope Phineas Redux
"Prophecy is like a half-trained mule," he complained to Jorah Mormont. "It looks as though it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the head." George R. R. Martin A Dance with Dragons
"I sadly want a reform in the construction of children. Nature's only idea seems to be to make them machines for the production of incessant noise." Wilkie Collins The Woman in White
The Anglo-Saxon genius for parliamentary government asserted itself; there was a great deal of talk and no decisive action. H. G. Wells The Invisible Man
When a man gets into his head an idea that the public voice calls for him, it is astonishing how great becomes his trust in the wisdom of the public. Anthony Trollope Framley Parsonage
It is a remarkable thing with reference to men who are distressed for money—distressed as was now the case with Mr. Sowerby—that they never seem at a loss for small sums, or deny themselves those luxuries which small sums purchase. Cabs, dinners, wine, theatres, and new gloves are always at the command of men who are drowned in pecuniary embarrassments, whereas those who don't owe a shilling are so frequently obliged to go without them! Anthony Trollope Framley Parsonage
Having a comfortable allowance from his father, he could devote the whole proceeds of his curacy to violet gloves and unexceptionable neck ties. Anthony Trollope Barchester Towers

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