Humorous Quotes

"If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits." ~ The Unbearable Bassington by Saki "You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed." ~ The Chronicles of Clovis by Saki "All decent people live beyond their incomes nowadays, and those who aren't respectable live beyond other peoples. A few gifted individuals manage to do both." ~ The Chronicles of Clovis by Saki "Money's a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet." ~ The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James "When widows exclaim loudly against second marriages, I would always lay a wager that the man, if not the wedding-day, is absolutely fixed on." ~ Amelia by Henry Fielding When the effects of female jealousy do not appear openly in their proper colours of rage and fury, we may suspect that mischievous passion to be at work privately, and attempting to undermine, what it doth not attack above-ground. ~ Tom Jones by Henry Fielding "Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast." ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde "I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself." ~ An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde Although a skilful flatterer is a most delightful companion, if you can keep him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people. ~ Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens The dinner was as remarkable for the splendour and completeness of its appointments as the mansion itself, and the company were remarkable for doing it ample justice, in which respect Messrs Pyke and Pluck particularly signalised themselves; these two gentlemen eating of every dish, and drinking of every bottle, with a capacity and perseverance truly astonishing. They were remarkably fresh, too, notwithstanding their great exertions: for, on the appearance of the dessert, they broke out again, as if nothing serious had taken place since breakfast. ~ Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens