Funny Quotes

They say that faint heart never won fair lady; and it is amazing to me how fair ladies are won, so faint are often men's hearts! ~ The Warden by Anthony Trollope The bishop did not whistle: we believe that they lose the power of doing so on being consecrated. ~ The Warden by Anthony Trollope He does love prophesying a misfortune, does the average British ghost. Send him out to prognosticate trouble to somebody, and he is happy. ~ Told After Supper by Jerome K. Jerome What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs are. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome I do think that, of all the silly, irritating tomfoolishness by which we are plagued, this "weather-forecast" fraud is about the most aggravating. It "forecasts" precisely what happened yesterday or the day before, and precisely the opposite of what is going to happen today. ~ Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome When Wealth walks in the door, the Press Agent comes in through the window. ~ Knocking the Neighbors by George Ade "The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all." ~ The Man Who Was Thursday by G. K. Chesterton "I don't often have the luck to have a dream like this. It is new to me for a nightmare to lead to a lobster. It is commonly the other way." ~ The Man Who Was Thursday by G. K. Chesterton To be alone with the girl to whom he is not engaged is a man's delight; to be alone with the man to whom she is engaged is the woman's. ~ The Eustace Diamonds by Anthony Trollope