Humorous Quotes

"London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "It is very painful for me to be forced to speak the truth. It is the first time in my life that I have ever been reduced to such a painful position, and I am really quite inexperienced in doing anything of the kind." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means." ~ The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde "Art," he continued, with a wave of the hand, "is merely the refuge which the ingenious have invented, when they were supplied with food and women, to escape the tediousness of life." ~ Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham When women are the advisers, the lords of creation don't take the advice till they have persuaded themselves that it is just what they intended to do. Then they act upon it, and, if it succeeds, they give the weaker vessel half the credit of it. If it fails, they generously give her the whole. ~ Little Women by Louisa May Alcott You see, he was going for the Holy Grail. The boys all took a flier at the Holy Grail now and then. It was a several years' cruise. They always put in the long absence snooping around, in the most conscientious way, though none of them had any idea where the Holy Grail really was, and I don't think any of them actually expected to find it, or would have known what to do with it if he had run across it. ~ A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain A wild, wick slip she was - but, she had the bonniest eye and sweetest smile, and lightest foot in the parish: and, after all, I believe she meant no harm; for when once she made you cry in good earnest, it seldom happened that she would not keep you company, and oblige you to be quiet that you might comfort her. ~ Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte Goresthorpe Grange is a feudal mansion - or so it was termed in the advertisement which originally brought it under my notice. Its right to this adjective had a most remarkable effect upon its price, and the advantages gained may possibly be more sentimental than real. Still, it is soothing to me to know that I have slits in my staircase through which I can discharge arrows; and there is a sense of power in the fact of possessing a complicated apparatus by means of which I am enabled to pour molten lead upon the head of the casual visitor. ~ Selecting a Ghost by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle